Schools, Parents & Youth Address Bullying

Hi there,
Welcome back to the SCTF blog. I can’t believe it’s already been a week. Time flies but I’m glad you’re back!

I want to start by watching a video called To This Day.  It’s a bit emotional -almost always makes me cry- but demonstrates poetically a topic we’ll discuss today. Grab some Kleenex, headphones if you need them and brace yourself.

Did you watch it? If so feel free to shut down your computer and go for a walk. Just make sure you come back to finish reading!

The topic of bullying has come up in conversation in all of the youth programs I’ve served. Bullying is an experience most people are familiar with, whether or not they’ve been involved or impacted personally. It’s important to note that both youth and adults experience bullying. However, research shows people who are victimized at an early age have lifelong impacts and I hope to explore them with you in this post. Some of these impacts are illustrated in the video.

Bullying takes many forms including but not limited to:

• Intentionally excluding someone from a social group/event
  
• Pushing, shoving or other physical harm
• Damaging someone’s reputation or relationships
• Spreading rumors or gossip
• Giving dirty looks or using other aggressive body language
  

Bullying is different from youth managing conflict with each other. Unlike traditional conflict, being a victim of bullying can be traumatizing and come with serious consequences. This table shows some differences between the two nicely: 

Conflict is typically innocent. It happens as a result of miscommunication or other accidental events. Bullying is a misuse of power and is intentional. A bully chooses to direct behaviors at someone.

We can’t mislabel bullying as conflict. I hear people say things like, “boys will be boys,” but the truth is boys will be boys until we teach them to be men. If we as a society ignore bullying and write it off as childish tiffs or conflict the problem will never be solved.

It’s not just boys who bully each other. The forms of bullying listed above can happen anywhere with anyone. Studies show boys are more likely to engage in physical aggression while girls are more likely to engage in less visible relational aggression but both genders participate and the impacts can be the same.

I don’t enjoy reviewing the research because it makes me feel sad however it’s important to back up my arguments with evidence. I know some of our readers very much enjoy numbers so click here for more facts like these, many of which are echoed in the To This Day video:

• Kids who bully often go on to commit crimes
• Kids who bully in their younger years often become more violent over time and often continue to bully others in adulthood
• Compared to their peers, kids who are bullied are five times more likely to be depressed
• Bullied boys are four times more likely to be suicidal; bullied girls are eight times more likely to be suicidal
• Many youth skip school each day out of fear of what awaits them in school
• Sometimes victims of bullying seek revenge on those who bullied them by using deadly force
  

Bullying is a powerful experience for both bullies and their victims that deserves the communities attention.

So what now? Now that I’ve adequately made you sad and dreary, what can we do as a community to make our schools, neighborhoods and homes safer for our children?
Bullying isn’t an issue we can face alone, just like we shouldn’t face bullies alone. It takes a community to come together and mobilize change. Here are some things parents, schools and youth can do while working towards a safer community.

For Schools

• Accept the fact that bullying is present in your school
• Determine the extent to which bullying exists in your school
• Evaluate the physical environment of the school and eliminate potentially unsafe areas
• Develop and implement a comprehensive violence prevention plan
• Take all reports of bullying seriously
• Define what behaviors are considered bullying and harassment and what the consequences for those behaviors are
• Model the behaviors you expect from students
• Meet with all school employees regarding policies on bullying and harassment

For Parents

• Assist your child in building empathy for others
• Help to develop your child's appreciation for those with differences
• Help your child learn to control their anger
• Help your child develop impulse control
• Help your child develop his or her negotiation skills
• Help your child learn how to recognize clues of the emotions others are feeling
• Model appropriate behaviors
• Use positive discipline strategies

For Youth
STAMP out bullying:

• Stay away from bullies
  
• Tell someone if you witness or are experiencing bullying
  
• Avoid bad situations and unsupervised environments
  
• Make friends and stick together. Join a club or afterschool program
  
• Project confidence without appearing to challenge bullies. Look a bully directly in the eyes confidently, say nothing and walk away
  

What am I missing? Leave a comment and let us know your solutions for STAMPing out bullying. What’s worked in your school or with your child?

The Keeping Our Kids Safe Conference is Friday October 13th (professional development) from 9am-4pm in Foster Auditorium at Clark College and Saturday October 14th (parent and family workshops) from 10am-3pm in the same location. We will have many presenters focusing on things like:

• Building community
• Boosting resiliency
• Suppressing gangs and violence
• How to create a youth council
• Youth Panel with youth in our programs
• Working with gang affected youth
  

I hope you can make it to the conference. Free lunch will be provided as well as many opportunities to connect with your fellow community members. Register on our website and find a program of events at www.safecommunitiestaskforce.org/keeping-our-kids-safe-conference.

Sending my best,

Christopher Belisle at SCTF.
 
Research presented in this blog post comes from the OJJDP website at https://www.ojjdp.gov/search/SearchResults.asp?ti=11&si=30&p=topic. 

For more help visit:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/youthviolence/bullyingresearch/index.html
VetoViolence
www.vetoviolence.cdc.gov  
Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention
www.stopbullying.gov
Surgeon General’s Report on Youth Violence
www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/youthviolence/youvioreport.htm