Ask, "What Happened?"

Hello there,

Welcome to our blog! Good to see you (or rather, connect with you online through this computer screen). Today's post will offer a quick and simple tip for reframing the way you approach youth.

If you’re working with youth on a regular basis, you will likely encounter a situation in which you notice something a bit off with one of your kids. Perhaps some red flags are being raised in your mind or you see a young person you know is visibly in distress. How you approach this situation directly influences the outcome.

A popular topic of discussion for the SCTF is what’s called trauma-informed care. That's okay if you’ve never heard of it! I will include a list of resources with more detailed information for you at the bottom of this post.

So, what do I mean by trauma? Trauma in the context of this blog post is best defined by the Substance abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):

“Individual trauma results from an event, series of
events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by
an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or
life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on
the individual’s functioning and mental, physical,
social, emotional, or spiritual well-being.”
 
Some examples of trauma include:

• Experiencing or witnessing sexual or emotional abuse
• Childhood neglect
• Experiencing or witnessing violence in the community
• Systemic discrimination
• Having a family member with a mental health or substance abuse disorder

 
Trauma informed care highlights things like how to sensitively interact with people who have experienced great amounts of pain in their lives, how to empower people and what we’ll talk about today: how language can impact outcome.

Aim for This:
With a trauma-informed response to approaching a youth in distress, the very first thing you say to them should be some form of the phrase, “What happened to you?”

What happened or What’s going on? is a more sensitive approach. The answer could be, “I just got married,” “I fell off my bike,” or, “I threw a firecracker in a classroom.”  The thing about what happened is there is no judgment involved. It creates a blank canvas that the listener gets the freedom to fill in however they chose. Offering options and choice is important for people who have experienced trauma.

Avoid This:
The very first thing you say to someone in distress should not be “What’s wrong with you?”
What’s wrong with you? quite literally implies that something is not right. One big problem with this is that many young people have been told they are wrong their entire lives. Many of the challenges they face are from external factors, like their environment and implying that they have done something wrong to attract these external factors should be avoided.

What’s wrong can be triggering for people even when it’s asked in a heartfelt way. Additionally, you’re likely to hear some sort of giant statement like, “Everything is wrong!” Using the word wrong adds a negative tone to the conversation and gets in the way of creating safety.  

There are many factors that go into approaching someone with a trauma-informed lens and I encourage you to learn more. This is one very small example that recently came across my desk and I wanted to share it with you. Feel free to comment below about your thoughts on this topic as I know many people have unique perspectives and experience!

Sending my best,

Christopher Belisle at SCTF  
                  
For more detailed information on trauma and adverse childhood experiences visit:

• My favorite website on trauma: https://changingmindsnow.org/
• County efforts towards A.C.E.’s and trauma: https://www.facebook.com/ACESActionAlliance/ or https://www.clark.wa.gov/public-health/preventing-adverse-childhood-experiences-aces
• The SAMHSA briefing mentioned in this blog post: https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content//SMA14-4884/SMA14-4884.pdf
• Center for Disease Control A.C.E.’s page: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/